You may not know it but I'm an only-child, only-grandchild. Oh, and I only have furry children; so, basically the buck stops here. My parents and I live many hours apart... a 9-12 hour one-way drive dependent upon traffic. While we talk on the phone, text and/or FB chat nearly everyday, our in-person connections aren't as consistent as we'd like.
Never fear, others have risen to the occasion to help love on my them. My mom, in particular, receives a consistent stream of love in the form of cards, gifts and visits from those who live near her and know how amazing she is.
Recently she shared with me about two gifts she'd received from two local "young" ladies. (I use the term "young" even though they are near my age... because, well, I consider my 50-somethings to be young. But I digress...)
It amused me so much to learn about the recent gifts, that I wrote the following piece. A friend from the UK commented on my post that my mom "is an umbrella of mom-ness." With that in mind, I'm delighted to share with you my tongue-in-cheek "Mom-ness" Umbrella Clause. (You can't blame a girl for creatively finding ways to monetize things. Can you?!) En-Joy
The "Mom-ness" Umbrella Clause
To Those Who Borrow My Mother: It has been brought to my attention that several people have been "borrowing my mother" to love on as their own.
Going forward there are a few business matters that need to be spelled out.
CONSISTENCY: She adores the gifts and attention so don't stop. In fact, I encourage you to do it as much as possible.
FEE STRUCTURE: While I'm thrilled that you want to give her attention and let her love on you in return, please be advised that effective immediately there is a FEE for borrowing my mother.
CALCULATION: Every time I hear that you've borrowed her, I'll add it to your bill. Once enough you have accumulated enough hours, I'll send you the bill for - in essence - renting my mom. I think it is only fair - since she is my mom and in effect, I'm loaning her to you.
PAYMENT: Please know that I accept electronic payments and checks.
PS. Applications will be accepted and screened for those of you want to take it a step further and be "adopted" by me as my "sister."
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