(And No, This Leadership Gift is Not Rest… or Revenue)

Certain seasons… holidays, quarter-end pushes, moments where everything seems to land on your plate at once... reveal a lot about how leaders, like you and me, communicate. 

You’ve probably seen it. Some leaders talk faster, while some grow quieter. Some rush through conversations like they have to knock everything off their checklist quickly before the next fire pops up.

And then there are the subtle moments when you look around and notice something in others that many miss:

Most people are carrying more than they’re saying.

I saw it recently while running errands. Nothing dramatic… just the usual task of moving from Point A to Point B to get things done.

It consistently shows up during meetings with clients, in group coaching sessions, and one-on-one convos with other leaders.

In both scenarios, the heaviness on people’s hearts shows on faces in ways that are impossible to ignore.

One thing I practice fairly regularly in these situations is the “smile game.”

Not the forced “customer service” smile. Not the polite nod you give when you don’t want to linger. Just a genuine moment of presence.

And the reactions are telling as people do double-takes. Some respond with confused stares or look away. 

In the public setting with strangers, a few people will glance behind them to see who is making me smile. That’s when the light bulb goes on as they realize I’m smiling at them and (my favorite part), I receive a smile in return.

Another strategy I practice fairly often before a meeting starts is to ask personal questions about the other people and then thoughtfully listen. You’ll be surprised what you’ll learn and the rapport you’ll build when you do this consistently and genuinely.

These situations remind me of a truth many leaders forget far too easily:

Genuine presence is a leadership strategy, not a soft skill or “nice to have.” But a strategy that strengthens every form of communication–verbal or non-verbal. From a sincere smile to a personal question showing interest, both approaches show care and offer presence.

Presence: The Quiet Advantage Most Leaders Overlook

In a marketplace that rewards speed, urgency, and noise, presence is one of the few leadership behaviors that slows the internal chaos long enough for clarity to surface.

Here’s what presence quietly does in your leadership:

1. Presence steadies your tone

When you’re fully present, you stop communicating from the emotional residue of your day. Your words reflect your intention, not your hurry.

2. Presence strengthens clarity

Rushed communication creates room for misunderstanding.
Present communication reduces cognitive load for the reader or listener.
Clarity becomes kindness.

3. Presence anchors your brand in integrity

Your brand is not primarily experienced through your website or your tagline.
It’s experienced through the way you show up — in meetings, messages, decisions, and everyday interactions.

Presence ensures those touchpoints reflect what you stand for, not just what you’re juggling.

This is where communication and leadership quietly intertwine:
Presence creates the internal alignment your brand depends on externally.

Why Leaders Drift From Presence (Even When They Know It Matters)

Most leaders don’t drift because they’re careless.
They drift because:

• decisions stack up
  
• expectations pile on
  
• inboxes multiply
  
• urgency becomes the tone-setter
  

Before you know it, communication becomes something to “get through,” not something to steward.

This drift shows up in subtle ways:

• Conversations get shorter.
•  Tone tightens.
•  Messages lose warmth, then nuance, then clarity.
•   Leaders start responding to pressure instead of people.

The irony?
Integrity-based leadership requires presence, not speed.
Presence creates the margin where discernment lives.
And discernment is what keeps communication aligned with your values — not your exhaustion.

This is what I call Trust Tension — the quiet gap between what you intend to communicate and what actually lands on the other side.

Presence closes that gap.

A Practical Presence Reset for Leaders Who Carry A Lot

This isn’t a checklist.
It’s an invitation to pause — intentionally — before you communicate.

Here are a few places where presence shifts the outcome almost immediately:

• Before responding to a message

Ask: What is the real need behind this?
Not every message needs urgency.
But every message deserves clarity.

• Before leading a meeting

Take ten seconds to align your tone with your intention.
People can feel the difference.

• Before delegating something important

Add one sentence of context or appreciation.
It transforms compliance into partnership.

• Before creating content for your company or clients

Check whether your words reflect your values or your velocity.

When you do this consistently, communication stops being something you push out…
and becomes something you build trust with.

Presence Strengthens Your Leadership, Your Communication, and Your Brand

Presence is not the loudest leadership skill, but it is one of the most transformative.

It…

• steadies your internal pace
•  reduces relational friction
•  sharpens clarity
•   strengthens trust
•  reinforces your values
•  and helps your brand sound like the leader behind it

Your team, clients, and partners don’t remember every message you send.
But they remember how you show up.

Presence is the difference between communication that feels transactional…
and communication that feels human.

A Leadership Question Worth Sitting With

Consider this:

Where might presence shift the tone of a conversation, decision, or communication in your world this week?

Sometimes the most meaningful leadership shift isn’t adding something new.
It’s offering something you already carry.

Presence is the gift that keeps giving —
to your team, your clients, your brand, and yes… to you.